Thursday, February 03, 2005

Be my little baby

It was really weird last night seeing my new nephew, Carson. He seemed so tiny, and he just lay there in my arms, sleeping peacefully, a little angel. I can't really remember Princess being like that. I asked Hub, was she like that? And he said yeah, don't you remember your sister coming up for a weekend and she never got to see her eyes - they were closed the whole time? Hm. How could I forget that?

I have been thinking about the prospect of having a second baby. Not any time least not until November of this year (to start trying). And then I think to myself, look how great Princess is. She is so awesome, and now that she is a toddler she is even cooler. Would I even want to start over with the sleepless nights, the stage where the baby is really just a little lump, the wailing cries all the time? And I was thinking, hm, no, I don't really want to do it again, I did it perfect the first time with Princess so why go through it all again for someone who can't possibly be as perfect?

Then, I held Carson last night. A little lump. Some wailing. But soooo precious and dear, such a piece of heaven. I think I actually felt the tug at my heartstrings. It was an odd feeling, especially as I watched Princess toddle around their house, playing with their toys, smiling and laughing and being the princess she is...everyone commenting on how happy she is and what a joy she is to be around...she seems so far removed from being a "baby" (tho only a year, really), and would I want to start it all again?