Thursday, December 30, 2004


I had no idea that one could become addicted to a baby clothes store.

I have been addicted to a few things in my life, some I am perhaps still addicted to. I won't go into too much detail about it, but let's just say I have some serious New Year's Resolutions coming up this week. But in any case, I guess you could say I have an addictive personality. Some things you expect to get addicted to, to one degree or another...booze, gambling, drugs, food...but I never in a million years thought it possible to become addicted to Gymboree.

Yet, I have been to the mall twice this week (two different malls, because they have different stuff in stock) to go to Gymboree. My daughter is a year old and therefore has no clue what she is wearing, so its obviously for me that I buy all this crap. And I have it marked on my calendar when "Gymbucks" start (1/13, if you care).

So I think my most recent previous addiction (drinking and partying) has been replaced with shopping for baby clothes. Does this mean I am an adult, finally?

Thursday, December 09, 2004

True You

How do you know who you really are, deep inside? Not the person you necessarily show to everyone, but the real, true you?

As I am typing, my one-year-old is crying in her crib. She doesn't want to take a nap. So I am very aware of one part of me - the mom part. And since I quit my fairly well-paying job to stay at home with her, being a mom is a big part. My friends are under the impression that it has become most of me - they don't call as much to hang out because of little Princess. But what they don't realize is that there is still so much more to me than just "mama" and its all been pushed to the bottom. I want some of it back! I am a smart, political-minded, fun, opinionated, argumentative, wild, party-hardy, beer-and-a-shot type gal...still. That is what I still am. Yes, I am a mom. But I am also still a person, still "me" inside.

Don't get me wrong. I love being a mom and I love Princess more than anything. She is amazing and can be all-consuming. But sometimes, I just want to be "True" again, even for a few hours. And I think I am going to do some soul searching in the new year to figure out how all of my roles are supposed to fit together.