Should I Become a Scientologist Like Tom Cruise?

But first....I am posting this a little early because today is the Mellencamp concert so I will be drinking and partying all day in preparation. I may not be back on here till Monday, depending on the level of the hangover I have.

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Found this meme over at Bitchalicious a little while ago and I had to take this one on because it is awesome.

Could I be joining Tom Cruise in the Church of Scientology? Could I be shunning pharmaceutical drugs and blaming people for their mental illnesses and postpartum depression? Could I start jumping on couches and pounding the floor declaring my love for Hub? Could I start believing I am a martian or a robot or whatever those Scientology freaks believe? Let's find out, shall we?

(These are real questions from the Church of Scientology's "SEC WHOLE TRACK" questionnaire. Seriously.)

1. Have you ever driven anyone insane?
I drive my husband insane on a daily basis and I can guarantee that anyone who has spent good quality drinking time with me has felt their sanity slowly slipping away.

2. Have you ever killed the wrong person?
Nope, I've got good aim.

3. Is anybody looking for you?
Nobody good.

4. Have you ever set a poor example?
Nope, I always teach Princess to wear a YaYa helmet when drinking her juice.

5. Did you come to earth for evil purposes?
I could tell you but then I would have to kill you.

6. Are you in hiding?
Usually.

7. Have you systematically set up mysteries?
Well I guess so. That's why one of my nicknames is "Dr. Evil" and I have frickin sharks with frickin laser beams on their heads.

8. Have you ever made a practice of confusing people?
Only myself.

9. Have you ever philosophized when you should have acted instead?
I am always philosophizing and never acting. Its what I do best.

10. Have you ever gone crazy?
A long time ago, and I ain't never comin' back.

11. Have you ever sought to persuade someone of your insanity?
Actually yes. Back in the day, pre-Hub, I had quite the stable of admirers who could not take no for an answer. So I tried to act even crazier than I am to scare them off. But the crazier I acted, the more they wanted me. Go figure.

12. Have you ever deserted or betrayed a great leader?
Well its been quite a while since this country had a great leader. So I will say no.

13. Have you ever smothered a baby?
Nope. Never even thought about it, with a good little baby like Princess.

14. Do you deserve to have any friends?
Of course I do. I'm fun.

15. Have you ever castrated anyone?
Not yet, but I wanted to castrate the boys in question #11. And all rapists and child molesters.

16. Do you deserve to be enslaved?
No, unless its by Billy Lane ;)

17. Is there any question on this list I had better not ask you again?
Number 13, because it's the only one that's not really very funny at all.

18. Have you ever tried to make the physical universe less real?
I don't even know what that means. Unless you mean by drinking my problems away? Then, maybe.

19. Have you ever zapped anyone?
I zap people all day long while I am driving with my pretend gun when they get in my way or drive slow in the fast lane. Or at Shop-Rite when they leave their carts in the middle of the aisle.

20. Have you ever had a body with a venereal disease? If so did you spread it?
As far as I know, this is the only body I have had and its clean.

So, am I in? Can I join all the Hollywood freaks in their Scientology castle out there in Cali-for-ni-A, or do I have to go try out for Kaballah instead?

What about you? Wanna join with me? C'mon, it's a fun meme. Just do it. You don't even have to tag anyone.