Saturday, July 23, 2005

Had Too Much To Drink?

But first...I finally did it - I am no longer blonde. My hair is now a very dark brown (nearly black - or maybe it just seems that way since its such a drastic change from blonde) with some red in there. Ah, thank God. I never feel like myself with blonde hair - I definitely have a dark-hair personality. I feel like a rock star again.
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Tonight, Patsy and Diddy and me and Hub and Princess are off to a ghetto barbecue. I have a girlfriend from my former office who lives in da hood and we were invited to party with her and all her friends. Hub and I went once before and we were terrified driving to and from - her house and street are fine, but the surrounding areas - um, quite scary. The funny thing is that my friend is 33, she still lives at home with her parents, she wears Prada and carries Louis Vuitton purses and drives a Mercedes. And, she is drop dead gorgeous, btw. But why does she still live at home? Its a mystery to all. I think we'll go have a few drinks and ponder it for a while.
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20 Ways For Women To Tell That They've Had A Little Much To Drink
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1. I have absolutely no idea where my purse is.

2. I believe that dancing with my arms overhead and wiggling my butt while
yelling "WOO-HOO!" is truly the sexiest dance move around.

3. I've suddenly decided I want to kick someone's ass and honestly believe I
could do it too.

4. In my last trip to pee, I realize I now look more like a homeless hooker
than the goddess I was just four hours ago.

5. I drop my 3:00 a.m. bean burrito on the floor (which I'm eating even
though I'm not the least bit hungry), pick it up and carry on eating it

6. I start crying and telling everyone I see that I love them sooooo much.

7. I get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song plays
because "Oh my God! I love this song!"

8. I've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to me

9. The man I'm flirting with used to be my 5th grade teacher.

10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing or
dance becomes strangely overwhelming.

11. My eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own so I keep them
half closed and think it looks exotically sexy.

12. I've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.

13. I yell at the bartender, who (I think) cheated me by giving me just
lemonade, but that's just because I can no longer taste the gin.

14. I think I'm in bed, but my pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor

15. I start every conversation with a booming, "DON'T take this the WRONG
WAY but..."

16. I fail to notice that the toilet lid's up, and I don't even care!

17. My hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.

18. I'm tired so I just sit on the floor (wherever I happen to be
standing) and take a quick nap.

19. I begin leaving the buttons open on my button fly pants to cut down on
the time I'm in the bathroom away from my drink.

20. I take my shoes off because I believe it's their fault that I'm having
problems walking straight.

27 comments:

Carol (Smiles and Laughter) said...

LOL! Love the list.

OK, we're waiting for a picture of the darker hair!

Brookelina said...

You just described a typical night for me 10 years ago. Scary. Must be a Jersey thing.

-xtessa- said...

my gosh! look at what i've been missing!!!;) but, no. 10 seems to just come naturally at me! ehehehhe!

Finn said...

You kill me! Hope you had a good time and didn't do too much damage.

Can't wait to see the hair.

Evey said...

LOL! These are pretty funny.

How was the BBQ?

Dawn said...

first let me say...how do you think she can afford all that stuff......(she live at home with her parents)

Hey...have we gone out for drinks before....I swear I did not mean to do those things that you are telling everyone I have done....I am sooo sorry:)

acumamakiki said...

Can't wait to see your hair dark! I'm definitely a dark-haired girl although I've forayed into blondage with highlights. Even though I look younger with them, I feel like ME when my hair is dark.

soapbox.SUPERSTAR said...

Alright little miss ghetto party crasher - post some pics of the new do!

tinkamarink said...

You mean those things aren't a normal night's activities?

Can't wait to see a dark-haired pic! *hint hint*

Patsy Darling said...

I so know where my purse is when I'm drunk it's on the floor full of puke as always.

la la la I can't hear you said...

LOL, but dancing with arms overhead and wiggling my butt while yelling "WOO-HOO!" is definately sexy, regardless of whether or not a Jersey Girl is drunk whilst doing it.

Marie said...

That's hilarious! I do recall the homeless hooker look after a night of heaving drinking and dancing...(bloodshot eyes, smeared eyeliner, etc.). ;-)

Toryssa said...

Hahaha, great list.

Lets see a picture of the hair!

Better Safe Than Sorry said...

i've done #6 on more than one occasion!
your gf still lives at home so she can drive a mercedes, wear prada and have a vuitton purse!!!!!!cuz if she was paying rent or a mortgage, she'd be taking the bus and shopping at walmart!

delite said...

That list is a riot!!

love your blog and would love to link ya!! :-)

mlwhitt said...

Heck I can relate to most of those and I don't even drink. Guess that mean's I am a natural drunkard without drinking huh?

Guppyman said...

Now I guess we're waiting for two things.... the driunken singing and the dark hair.....

Damn I hate waiting!

PresentStorm said...

Lmao those are funny ...I can relate to # 4 ...lol
Yeah I agree ..You need to post pics of the new do and think that Better Safe nailed it about why your friend lives with mommy and daddy ..lol

trine said...

we *so* should go out drinking together!!

can't wait for photos of the new hair!

be good tonight!!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Better Safe is right; your friend can only afford those lovely things because she lives at home. She sounds a lovely girl.

Great list. Hope we see your hair.

Indigo said...

We need a picture of you with your new hair! Do you like it?

I'm LMAO at the drunk list. LOL!

LisaBinDaCity said...

Rock on Sista! You go girl :-)

Smallfat said...

yeah, so... check, check, check.... (16 more checks) ... check..

linked over from sparrow.. mind if i link directly?

Raehan said...

So, in other words, when you drink you are a lot like my toddler girl.

She pretty darn cute, I bet you are, too.

Katy said...

the list....have you been spying on me?

Kathleen said...

I had to laugh at the last one because at a wedding a couple of years ago a friend was totally blaming her shoes because she was so drunk she couldn't walk. "I'm not drunk, it's these shoes."

Scully said...

Oh. My. Gawd.

You are an honorary Calgary Stampede partier.

I have lived many of these moments myself.