Dear Nosy Elderly Neighbor:
Thank you for voicing your concern about me sitting in the sun today. Just a few points to mention to you:
1. Yes, I am fair-skinned, which explains the sitting in the sun. Pasty white skin is not all the rage these days. Perhaps you should get some sun yourself. I am a Jersey Shore gal, so I certainly do not need you to tell me when the sun's rays are the strongest. I only sit out when they are the strongest. Thanks.
2. Yes, I have numerous tattoos. No, I do not regret them. No, I don't think they look tacky on women.
4. Yes, Hub will mow the lawn one of the these days. I guess while you are so busy watching what everyone in the neighborhood does, you have missed the fact that he doesn't get home till after 8 most nights, and that maybe when he gets home he wants to spend a half hour with his daughter. And that it has been so humid here over the past week that you could cut the air with a knife. A little long grass is better than Hub having a heart attack on the lawn.
5. And no, I am not mowing the lawn. Forget that ever happening. Evah.
6. And finally. No, dear, I did not need to know that you sleep in the nude. Really. But if you know how to replace that piece of visual memory from my brain, that I would love to know.