Saturday, May 07, 2005

The Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Helmets

Ya Ya Helmets
Once upon a time, in a magical land called New Jersey, there lived a beautiful girl named True. True liked to enjoy a cold alcoholic drink now and again (and again and again). Once night in the new city of York, she met a handsome stranger and they fell in love at first shot of tequila.

As all good fairy tales go, True and her knight, Hub, were married and lived happily ever after. They bought the house of their dreams. But it was missing the one thing that would truly make it a home to True – a bar.

Finally one bright and sunny day, Hub came to True with the best news she had ever heard: he was going to refinish the basement and build her the bar she had always dreamed of. Ah, lovely, lovely day!

But as Hub built the bar for True, he started to realize the dangers that could come from this. He knew True and her friends all too well, and he knew their propensity for, well, overindulgence in the drink. He was the cautious and logical one of the pair, and he began to worry about True's safety while inbibing at her new bar. He came to her with a solution to this dilemma, and she listened carefully as he explained his terms.

“I will you a bar,” he said, “but the basement floor is very hard and your head is quite soft and delicate. Therefore, you must choose: you must either wear a helmet while drinking at the bar so you don’t fall and crack your head open, or I will build you a midget bar with midget stools so that if you do fall, you won’t fall far.”

True quickly and thoughtfully considered her options. Yes, a midget bar would kick ass and would not mess up her Jersey hair as a helmet would. Ah, but a helmet! Oh yes, she would choose the helmet!

True called her best friend Patsy* and told her of the exciting news. “Oh, Patsy Sweetie Darling! Hub is building us a bar, and we will helmets so as not to crack our skulls! And I have a brilliant idea! Let us decorate them as the Ya-Ya’s did with their ceremonial hats – let us create Ya-Ya Helmets!”

Patsy and True convened that very evening, fired up the blender with strawberry margaritas, and proceeded to adorn their helmets with stickers, glitter, bottle caps, and plastic palm trees. Oh, the glory!
Ya Yas - Patsy and True

From that night on, they wore their helmets proudly as they drank. And True and Patsy were just as fashionable as they were safe.

*Patsy is not her real name. This is her nickname, based on Absolutely Fabulous.

And, big ups to Hub, here is the bar he built:
Our Bar

28 comments:

mrsmogul said...

You should sell them for $24.99! They would do well at the Freehold Mall.

Dawn said...

Those are so cool! Very thoughtful husband indeed

vegemiterules said...

Cool bananas TJG,
Love the bar and the hats are excellent, I can just envisage you wearing them. Have a great weekend.

tommy said...

We don't have safetey helmets. But I did build a bar. Maybe someday when I dont have anything to say(be quiet) I'll put up pictures.

Lifeoriley said...

To funny! I laughed my head off and spewed my dirk all over the place....oh well time for another!The bar is a beauty..:-)

Raehan said...

Wow! That sounds perfect. I like having fun, but don't enjoy leaving home at night. Just right!

-E said...

Awesome helmets and a pretty groovy bar.

Michele sent me.

Star said...

Hi. I'm here via Michele. Hello Jersey girl from a Philly chick.

janey said...

What a bar, what a hubby. Lucky you. Michele says hi.

Daisyhead said...

I want to see the pretty pictures of the Ya Ya helmets, but alas, it won't let me because of my privates. Er, because the page is private.

TrueJerseyGirl said...

Sorry Daisy - I had them private so that they wouldn't be able to be seen till I posted this entry. They are public now! Enjoy!

Christine said...

Great bar, and lovely helmets! Drink safe! ;)

Pinkie said...

What a great bar! And, I love the helments ~ very stylish! I'm going to be a SAHM in less than a month and I'm freakin' out so I enjoyed seeing your site (sent from Michelle).

Bumbling Bav said...

That is great! I love it. And such a caring husband.

As my 5 yr old says "Be safe, Be seen"!

trine said...

They are wonderful True, and just what any gal needs! i agree with Mrs Mogul , you should brand them and sell them, you'd make a fortune!!

mcgibfried said...

is that bar in your home?

as i am now completely jealous!

Dawn said...

Happy Mothers Day!

J&J'sMom said...

That is too funny! I can't see the pics for some reason..I'll be back! Happy drinking! And Happy Mother's Day ;0)

Nam LaMore said...

there have been many wonderous helmets through the ages, none so famous as hermes helmet of invisibility (the real name: helm of darkness).

another famous headgear is wonder woman's diadem/tiara. as it is razor sharp with the returning property of a boomerang, it has served her as a long range weapond.

of course, we can't forget davie crockett's racoon cap. apparently it allowed him to mask his scent and sneak up on (or away from) bears and mountain lions.

i used to play D&D and had an interest in mythology, so armoury is 'fun' to know.

turboslut said...

Wow, what a wonderful story. I have never heard of a strawberry margarita, but I drink the normal kind a lot :)

Retro Girl said...

Fabbo Post! I love the hats and that's one kick ass bar, indeed!

Christine said...

Stopping by to wish you a Happy Mother's Day!!!

Nino the Mindboggler said...

Thanks for the comment over at my place and... hope the B4B entry made for a HOT mother's day!

vegemiterules said...

G'day TJG,
Hope that you had a lovely Mother's day and treated like a queen, here to give you a cyber hug from me and my Mum :) xoxo

A Career Woman and A Housewife said...

I wanna make a helmet!!!!!
-Housewife

A Career Woman and A Housewife said...

You are too funny! And I totally want a bar in my new house with my future husband! You and your friend seem like Housewife and I, we should have a party!
-Career Woman

Allen said...

i love the helmets! i needed one of those in my college days....

Molly said...

That bar is awesome! And the helmets are a worthy trade off, though I am still intrigued by the fact that you passed up the midget bar :-)