So did you see Oprah yesterday? Ya know, where women were told you can either love your children OR you can love your husband? Where women were told you can either be Supermom OR a super wife? Well, I am here to clear this up for you. And hopefully I am not telling you something you didn’t know. But if I am, please listen up.
First of all, you cannot be Super-anything. You just can’t. You can be the best damn mother in the world, but you are still not Supermom. You will still fail at certain things, your kid will still mess up, its going to happen. You are human. You can just do the best you can do. Same thing with being a wife. You are still going to disappoint your husband (and if you never disappoint him, I am sure you are disappointing YOURSELF).
I can’t believe that no one on the show could have seen some middle ground there and said, wait a minute. I love my husband and I love my kids. I love them differently, but I love them the same amount. They have different roles in my life, but I love them equally. And I don’t think that one has to suffer at the hands of the other. I don’t think if I am being a good wife right now, I can’t also be a good mom. I may not be “Super” at either, but at the end of the day, my daughter knows I love her and my husband knows I love him. Why does it have to be one or the other?
Personally, I just do the best I can every day. Some days, I am a terrific mom. We read books, we play outside, we go to the park, we sing songs, we go to Gymboree, we learn about nature and language and music and anatomy. Some days I am tired or sick and I can only be a decent mom. We might read a book, we’ll probably watch a video or even two, and I will probably hope that she will entertain herself as much as possible. I just try to make the terrific mom days and the great mom days and the good mom days outnumber the decent mom days. I do the best I can. Same thing with being a wife. Some days I am great. Some, not so great. Again, I just try to outnumber the bad with the good.
I am sick of women being told we have to be super at everything. We have to raise perfect children, be Stepford wives, take care of the household, cook, pay the bills, and look great while doing it. Ya know what? I refuse to buy into it. And you should too. Maybe its easier for me because I have a great husband who doesn’t want a wife who buys into that crap. But I just live by the immortal words of my great-grandfather who wisely and famously said, “That’s the best I can do.” And I don’t feel bad about it.
I may not be Super, but I am pretty damn great. So there. And so are you.