Holly Jolly Christmas

Another Christmas has passed us by, and it was lovely. On Christmas Eve, we went to dinner with friends and then got into our jammies and played poker till close to midnight. Then our friends went home and Hubby and I opened our gifts to each other (while TJK looked on). Can you say Rebecca Minckoff and jackelopes and jewelry? I sure can :)

Besties on Christmas Eve

On Christmas morning, TJK opened her presents and was in heaven with all the Star Wars and American Girl Doll stuff. There was no hoverboard to be found - I think we will wait till they stop catching on fire and exploding before dipping into that pool. We then went to my parents' house with the aunts and uncles and cousins, and it was really nice. I always feel so lucky when I'm with my family. Not only am I super-close with my cousins of all ages (from the 4 year old to the 25 year old to the ones closer to my age), but I'm also lucky enough to consider my aunts and uncles as my friends, too. I spent about half an hour hanging out with one of my aunts on the porch, just gossiping and talking and having a few drinks. Couldn't love it more.

The day after Christmas, we finally made our way into NYC for the day. We usually go in one Sunday before Christmas to do the traditional holiday stuff, but this year was just too crazy. So we went in afterwards, and saw the tree and the store windows (always love Bergdorf's the best) and had dinner at Lasagna, one of our favorite restaurants. Hubby even bought me a belated gift of jewelry on 5th Ave. The best thing we did, though, was to take a quick detour upon arriving in the city to go down by the World Trade Center. I have yet to go up in the new building - it's still too soon for me, and I know I will just bawl and bawl. But across the street is a mall which had a light installation which was so amazing.

Beautiful light installation at Brookfield Place, Battery Park, NYC

You put both hands on the lighted block and it changes color repeatedly. You make a wish and then let go of the block. The color from the block goes up to the lighted blocks on the ceiling and then your color spreads from where you are standing to the back of the space, as if your wish was spreading from your heart out to the world. TJK and I decided we loved this more than the Rock Center tree and the windows. It was just so beautiful and peaceful and wonderful to watch.

My daughter and two goddaughters.

Then, on Sunday, we went down to Manasquan to visit with family again. This time, it was with cousins from Scotland who are here for Christmas and New Year's in NYC. There were probably 20 of us all together in my cousin's beautiful home, and we had such a nice time. The Scotland cousins are so friendly and talkative and interesting. It was cool to hear the stories of my grandparents and great grandparents from back in the day. I learned that my grandmother actually lived in Scotland for about 4 years as a child!

Now, I'm back at work and exhausted as hell. When we have these weekends that are non-stop and sleep-free, I dread them. Then when I'm in it, I love it...because I love to be busy and I love having experiences, whatever they may be. And then the next day, I am tired and have a headache and could fall asleep at my desk, but I don't regret a single moment of it (except maybe the insane stand-still crowd trying to get to the tree in front of Saks. Disastrous.).

Recharge, Reset, Restart

I am in a total funk at work. Well, that's not completely true. In my location, I am totally crushing it. I have been on my game with employee relations, with coaching, and with organizational strategy. I know, this stuff is super glamorous, right? Whatever, I'm good at it.

Where I'm struggling is with my boss. We seem to be like oil and water and I don't know how to fix it. Our personalities just don't mesh well, and she does not appreciate me or what I do or what I accomplish or even what my location does as a whole. At least that is the feeling I get from her.

It makes me not want to be here anymore. I love my co-workers, I love the company, I love the work I do here. But I don't do well with feeling stressed every single time I have to talk to her because I don't know how she is going to react to me. I'm too old to be all jacked up whenever a call with her is on the horizon.

I make a good living, though. And I have a slight purse/shoe/clothing/jewelry addiction. And I love the fact that I can travel pretty much wherever and stay in whatever hotel I want. I don't want to give up the sweet life which I have worked hard to achieve.

I was thinking last night about my passions. Like, if I didn't have to work for the money, what would I do? Where are my talents? What do I enjoy? What would I choose to do in my free time?

- travel
- fashion
- feminism
- craft beer
- music
- problem solving/mediating

Now if only I could find a job where I could solve people's problems whilst in Paris wearing Louboutins, Russian River beer in hand as I fight The Man to the tune of Fugazi's Suggestion.

Sigh.

Fashion Forward, Part Deux

A couple of posts ago, I wrote about how I was sort of ahead of my time these days on the fashion tip. Friends would mock and judge my fashion decisions (which were really not all that daring...I think they were just used to me wearing jeans and black shirts all the time, the same as they did). I cared a little, but not enough to stop me from looking to the runway and making bold choices. We are going to Chili's for dinner? Ok, sounds like a reason to wear this faux-fur boa collar and over the knee oxblood boots!

Anyway, after I posted that, I had two new experiences that made me reflect on what I had written. One was with the colleague who was hating on my double-ball earrings. I wore them again (well, different pair, different metal, same style). She said, "Oh! You're wearing those again! I have to tell you, I had never seen them before and then you wore them and I didn't know what they were all about, and then I saw Madelyn (a co-worker) wearing the same style! You are both so fashionable, I guess I was out of the loop completely on the weird earring trend." Yes, honey, you are. She went on to say that she realized that when she hated on mine, it was only because it was new to her and now that she'd seen them a few times, they were growing on her. I had a few choice statements for her, which I kept in my head, and I just smiled and told her to just follow my lead if she wanted to keep up.

Riri wears the same earrings I wear. Or, I wear the same earrings she wears. Are they really that crazy?

Then, I was out with the boyfriend of the friend who mocked my capes and statement jewelry a few years back. We were hanging out inside at a brewery and all was well. Then we went to sit outside for a bit and I put on my new favorite sunglasses. He starts laughing and says, "Oh TJG, what are those glasses about? You are so strange!" Mind you, these glasses are nothing crazy. I have way crazier glasses than these! And that made me think for a minute. Anything outside the norm - outside of the black, jeans, simplicity, plainness that people were used to seeing me in for so many years - and I was going to be judged.

Really? These sunnies are that crazy? I think not, and I love them.

But who was judging me, exactly? Were these people whose fashion sense I admired? Were these people who took risks and kept on top of trends and created their own versions of them? Were these people who could stand anything outside of the complete and utter norm? No, no, and no. So why would I even care? And I realized that I didn't...and that in fact. I kind of liked it that these people looked at me funny. Because really, they are stuck where they are, wearing the same tired things they have worn for the 15 years I have known them.

Today: wearing a floor length pleated skirt (TOTALLY outside my comfort zone) that swirls around me when I walk. I love it. And I have gotten so many compliments from everyone I have seen. My goals for getting dressed in the morning are:

1. Feel confident in what I have chosen. This means no tugging, pulling, hiking up, etc.
2. Feel good about myself when I look in the mirror before I walk out the door.
3. Feel like what I am wearing is a representation of me and my personality.

Today I hit all three of those marks. I don't always. But today, I feel confident, I feel good about myself, and I feel like me. So any of you haters out there: Come at me, bro.