Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Thanks and a BIG Rant

But first...thank you all so much for your kind words and condolences on my uncle. It is greatly appreciated.
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Alright. I am so pissed right now I cannot even speak. I wasn't going to blog till tomorrow, but if I don't get this out I will probably not sleep tonight.

I am in my cousin's wedding in October. I adore him and I adore his fiancee. BUT. I may kill the both of them.

The bride's friends suck, and despite the fact that I am the bridesmaid who knows her the least and for the shortest amount of time, I am the only one having a shower for her. No one else, including the maid of honor who lives in her state (I live 7 hours from them) is throwing a shower. I emailed all the bridesmaids about 50 times over the summer and finally decided that if these people can't get their stuff together, I am not going to let the bride (I'll call her A) suffer for it. So I said, I am having a shower for the family and friends in Jersey. I emailed all the moms. I talked to my cousin about 50 times to get the perfect date so we could get her up here and surprise her. I am doing ALL the work. I just sent out all the invitations on Monday. So what happened?

I just got a call from my beloved cousin. Turns out that despite the fact that I reserved this date months ago, he agreed to have his bachelor party the same day. Ok, no problem right? Problem. They are taking him to Atlantic City, so he has to be at the meeting point by 2:30. He is supposed to get A to my house at 2:30. He can't change the timing on his end because they are catching the bus or something, and I can't change the time on my end because I ALREADY SENT OUT THE INVITATIONS. So now, all my hard work in trying to make this a surprise has gone down the drain. We are going to have to tell her about it, or else why would she drive all the way up here when he is going to AC for his bachelor party? I could kill him.

But that's not all.

His mom (my aunt) never wears dresses, but she went out and found a dress that she fell in love with and is so incredibly excited about. She even called me to tell me about it. She can't wait to surprise her son with this fabulous dress she got. So what is the problem? I just got home after not having checked my email in a few days to find an email from the bride. She is not happy that my aunt bought a taupe dress. She wanted her to wear blue. And she wants ME to tell my aunt she doesn't want her to wear that dress! Because, you know, it would be *uncomfortable* for *her* to tell my aunt that, but it would obviously be easy for ME to tell her something that goes a little something like this: "I know you spent all day with the girls looking for the perfect dress, and I know how much you love it, and I know you haven't worn a dress since high school but you fell in love with this perfect dress, but ya know what, it would be better if you start over and look for another perfect dress because taupe is not exactly what A had in mind. No biggie, right?"

Let me tell you this. I am SO not doing that. Its totally not my place to get involved in that discussion, and I am NOT going to be the one to break my aunt's heart. Right now, between the shower situation and the dress situation (not to mention that my dress was nearly $300 and Princess is in the wedding and the dress A wants for her is nearly $200...and did I mention we are PO????) I wish I was not involved in this wedding at all.

Sorry for the rant, and if you read this whole thing, bless your big, monstrous heart for hanging in there. I am just so pissed and I needed to rant.

42 comments:

Indigo said...

Oh jeez, I would have needed to rant about that too. She sounds like a total piece of work, and I can't believe that you are being so kind to through her a shower when all her family and friends aren't.

You, True, are so classy, and that's why I like you.

Patsy Darling said...

Oh boy. I just got my invitation today, who knew the drama. Well she just doesn't get a surprise shower is all. You know I love A but tell her to tell your aunt helself she's a big tough girl. And don't you just loves boys, changing all the plans, cousin C is no longer my Vegas partner in crime. See what happens when you try to plan a wedding in less than a year. go to Vegas people it's so much easier.

Curator said...

Whats a wedding without a good family tussle in the midst. :)

Danielle said...

gurl rant on!!! i think it is normal for all that shit to go down for family weddings!

mickeyg said...

Wow, talk about crazy! You are too good to be throwing the shower - I hope the others are at least gonna do something!

gina

Better Safe Than Sorry said...

grrrr, the things we have to do for relatives.

soapbox.SUPERSTAR said...

Okay...taupe, blue - WTF is the difference? As long as she is not wearing a thong and bra...go with it - you should not start family feuds before you are even in the family!!!

As far as your party planning - THAT TOTALLY SUCKS - I know how you feel...I tried to plan a surprise 30th birthday party for hubby and he ruined it - i spent weeks tracking down over 200 people, rented a bar, everything - I cried when he found out. I'll have to post that story...in fact, I may do that today.

Scully said...

Firstly, I would read your blog regardless of any ranting. And I particularly like when you rant.

Secondly, I'm very sorry about your uncle. My condolences to you and your family.

Thirdly, be in the wedding party, attend the wedding, but I wouldn't do anything else. It wasn't your job to throw that shower, it's the maid of honour's job. And you've already spent a fortune, why should you be stuck with the ettiquette stuff.

And what's the problem with a taupe dress? It seems that Bridezilla is just a tad spoiled.

Sorry you're having to go through with this.

But I know that you and Princess will look Fab at that wedding!!!

Au revoir!

PS - don't be jealous of my trip to Paris. I'm jealous of the fact that you're married, you have your wonderful husband and wonderful daughter. I'm the one who is really jealous.

Trista said...

Wow, what's bridezilla problem? I think taupe is a completely appropriate color for a wedding. She should be thankful that your aunt is wearing a dress at all, and realize that she can't control every single aspect of the wedding. If she has such a problem with the color of someone's dress, she should talk to them personally, not nominate you to do so.

With everything that you are doing for her, you would think she would be a little more appreciative. I hope everything goes well.

Molly said...

Oh my! That is a lot of drama for the wedding, why is it that they always turn into the craziest fiascos?

Sorry that the shower surprise is ruined, but at least you were nice enough to throw one, I am impressed with your effort.

Janet said...

I hate weddings. I ADORE elopements!

Martha said...

Wow lots of drama!! You are too nice for throwing her a shower.

I love your site!

trinamick said...

Take it from someone who has been in two horrible weddings - don't let them drag you into their insanity! Make them do their dirty work themselves. I got guilted into the whole shower thing both times, and both were disasters that I had to pay for. Never again!

victoria said...

I have never witnessed, or even HEARD of a wedding that wasnt shit for everyone involved. i wonder why that is. It's always a disaster in some way or another. They should be outlawed. everyone just go to the JP, sign the damn license, and go home.

Dawn said...

your aunt should wear whatever color she wants to wear. I hate people who get like that because it is "their day". Ugh.

Elle said...

Ah, screw the surprise. I wouldn't tell my aunt either about the dress. They are going to have to learn how to communicate sometime, right? You are too nice.

Kathleen said...

Nice rant! I enjoyed it as I've been there and done that. Weddings are hideous. And I say that if your aunt found a dress with which she is happy, let her wear the fucking thing. If it were me, I'd say, "Dear Auntie, A doesn't like your dress because it's not blue, but I say wear it anyway!" Or something equally subversive. At my sister's wedding I stood in the back of the church and told my brother, "Please elope when you get married."

Princsvspa said...

Look, I love A. very much, but as I told you, if it's THAT important to her, she needs to speak up herself.

I am the QUEEN of having total control over an event, but there are certain things you simply do not do.

Unless A. wants to buy the dress, she needs to calm down, and just freak out about the stuff she can freak out about - the menu, flowers, HER mother's dress, the band and seating.

Ms Meh said...

Wait, wait. Timeout. Bridezilla can't talk to her future mother in law about what she wants for the wedding? Whew, good luck with the marriage!

LOVE the blog. Love. It.

Danielle said...

feel free to vent all you want. It is so thoughtful of you to throw the shower! now just try not to stress too much over it all. I just found out my best childhood friend is getting married in aspen. now that will be an expense.

mg said...

You are kind to help her out, but don't let her walk all over you. Stand up for yourself and tell her to call your aunt directly. She's taking advantage and that's not right, regardless if she's the bride.

Hang in there!
mg

Shannon said...

I must say if every family were normal, and there were no issues, then life would be a tad boring.... However, in noway is it fair for A to put this on you....go kick ass True!

Arethusa said...

Oooh I'm sorry about the uncle. I guess Providence figured this whole marriage thing could serve as a good distraction of sorts? Heh. I'm sure you'll emerge from everything unscathed. :)

Stationery Queen said...

Weddings just bring out the nutty in everybody.

*hugs*

Jean-Luc Picard said...

People can be awful sometimes regarding weddings. You're right to rant, True.

InterstellarLass said...

Ugh! Bridezilla indeed! If she wanted particular colors, she should have told people before they went shopping! And someone needs to ship an etiquette guide to the maid of honor. It's her job to throw that shindig. You are so kind to do it though. Is there no other way to get her there and still have it be a surprise?

Patsy Darling said...

Poor A being dubbed a bridezilla by so many. She's a sweet girl but it's so her responsibility to tell Aunt N her feelings. Don't do it Deb. Although I'm sure you won't. $300 for your dress plus $200 for princess.Plus the cost of the shower. Nevermind the hotel for 2 nights as well. Then Key West the next week they should have consulted our vacation plans before getting married.

Evey said...

Glad to have you back!!

My husbands sister was torture for all her bridesmaids and pretty much all involved. Made me very thankful I was not in the wedding.

Thats so sad about the dress. I would tell her to get over it and let your aunt wear the dress she bought, especially considering the circumstances of her not normally wearing dresses and finding something she loved so much.

Hope things work out with the shower without too much frustration etc..on your part!

Keep us posted!

trine said...

oh my word, you are SO entitled to complain!!! and who better to than to us??

grrrrr!!! that is so unbeliveable about the shower...

Kris said...

Oh God. Weddings are clearly to suck the life out of all of us. Going to work ends up being more fun.

annie said...

The dress stays. What's the big deal? She's not a bridesmaid.
And the Maid of Honor is really the one who should be throwing the shower. That's bull.
$300 is bad enough for you to spend on a dress, but $200 for a little girls dress PLUS yours is a lot to ask!

Bumbling Bav said...

Yep the dress stays!

Stay strong!

The One Your Mother Warned You About said...

The dress has to stay! :)

Natsthename said...

God, you have EVERY right to rant! And you are so right not to tell your aunt to change the dress. Hell, who would SHE get pissed at? The bride? I freakin' doubt it. And why should the bride care what color her mother wears? That's just micro-managing the wedding. It's stupid. (and one of the reasons I ELOPED! lol)

I'm glad you're sticking my your guns! Good for you!

Carol said...

Okay True Jersey Girl, I didn't read it all and I know you said you aren't going to blog tomorrow but I hope you can make it out for band tomorrow. We always need the drummer for Friendly Fridays.

Raehan said...

That is really bizarre. The dress thing.

Why are wedding like this these days. Man.

Don't you love family events!

deputyswife said...

Glad to see your back Jersey! Even though it is a ranting mood. HA!

I totally agree with not approaching your aunt. A needs to understand what her future mil went through to get the dress. She also needs to understand, she has got to let the little things go. No wedding is perfect. Plus, it will give her something to bitch about later when she is pissed at her mil.

Holly said...

A sounds like a control freak, who seriously needs to simmer down and *enjoy* the weddding!

Anonymous said...

This guy is number one! http://ventingagain.blogspot.com/ The number one piece of shit! Fuck him and his disgusting girl crap.. We are all fine.. He is just jealous because he can;t get none... and his fat ugly wife won't give him any!

Randy Welling
Future Metals, Inc.
7501 Highway 287, Suite A-1
Arlington, TX 76001
Phone:
(817) 561-4094
(800) 733-0961
Fax:
(817) 561-4098

Ally said...

I am constantly amazed at how some people go off the wall when they are getting married and want everyone to jump through hoops to make 'a perfect day' ... it's like the wedding day is more important than the actual marriage.

Peanutt said...

Grrr...the reason I hate weddings all together! I wanted to go to Vegas to get married, but noooooo, the family wanted a wedding, grrr, all the crap that happens in planning for one of the happiest days of your life???? Whatever!
Seems that maybe you should just say fuck it! But I'm sure your too good a person to want to do that! I mean, your the only one who seems to care!
Big blog hugz and a raised glass to you!

aka_monty said...

Bless your heart! And since when does the BRIDE get to pick out what the mothers wear???

I suggest you send her a book of Wedding Etiquette, so she knows who gets to do what. ;)