Friday, September 16, 2005

Wow.

I wrote my last post in a true fit of anger at not being able to personally have it out with the idiot who felt the need to criticize my family's decisions to do what is best for us. I truly felt like it was not worth it for me to put myself out there anymore when people are so hateful and judgemental - whether they claim to be having a "bad day" or not. And not being able to have it out with the bitch - that for me was the hardest part. Because, as in your comments when you told me to "be Jersey" - well, that is what I wanted. I wanted to personally tell off the ignoramus who left the comment and make her sorry she f'ed with me. But I couldn't do that, and that made me even angrier.

Trust me, people, I am a very tough broad. Not alot truly gets to me. Almost nothing hurts me to my core because I know who I am and what I stand for. But this comment wasn't just a troll. Its like this - imagine making the toughest decision you have ever had to make, questioning yourself about it a million times, deciding what is right and necessary even though your doubts are still rolling through your head - and then having someone come in and tell you that all of your doubts are right and that you are a selfish person for making that decision. All while the feelings are so raw and close to the surface. It was just too much for me to handle yesterday. It wasn't about letting the troll win - trust me, kids, no one beats me - it was about perhaps sharing too much with people I don't know and letting them in on parts of my life that maybe I should have kept to myself. I couldn't really see a good reason to continue to blog anymore.

But then. Wow.

I wasn't really thinking of *your* responses when I wrote yesterday's post about quitting. I was just really mad and had no one to punch. I couldn't have ever predicted that so many of you would express such wonderful sentiments to me.

Wow.

All I can say is thank you. Thank you for reminding me why I do this. Thank you for taking the time to ask me to stay. Thank you for making me smile and laugh at a time when that is the last thing I felt like doing. Thank you to my true blogging friends for coming out en masse to support me, and thank you to the lurkers and newcomers for de-lurking and telling me you like my blog.

I am going to stay around, and I thank you for convincing me that I should. I appreciate your comments and the many, many emails I received more than you will know. So again, thank you.

Thank you.

38 comments:

Me said...

This is a really awesome blog. Sorry you have know-it-all's bombarding you with their two cents. My sister had to put her daughter in daycare and she is doing just fine. In fact she has made great friends and is building her relationship skills.
I found this blog while I was surfing through the millions, don't stop posting, you got me hooked!

Peanutt said...

You are so very welcome True! Its good too see you blog! You had us all skeered!
Have a great day!

Indigo said...

YAY!!!! :-)

Princsvspa said...

Dude - she's one of us - she *needs* daycare because girl's gotta party. I mean, chillin' with moms is cool and all, but she's gotta get her swerve on.

AHAHAHA - I was wondering how long I could carry that along - ghetto speak from the white girl from CT.

And why are you letting some RANDOM person who doesn't even have the cock to attach a name to their comment get to you??? TSK. TSK. I expect better from you.

We are a social, smart clan - she'll do SO well.

and OMG - NEW JOB!!!! Kick ass, dude, kick ass.

Tay said...

Glad to hear you're staying! Who else is supposed to remind me the quirky things northerners say?! I used to live in Philly and then moved to Georgia...talk about culture shock! It brings back a taste of the past when you talk about going "down the shore"!

YAY!

Patsy Darling said...

Thank fucking god Deb that you're still blogging. I mean if we both didn't blog how could we torture people with our insane blog talk when we get drunk together.

Night Flier said...

You better not even think about not blogging girl...your my Jovi Girl and us Jovi Girls need to stick together and Blog!

Besides, I miss the NE and Jersey sometimes. So it's great to hear your stories and have you as a lifeline to my past.

BTW, Bon Jovi is starting to tour in November! Oh yeah baby!! I can't wait!

HighMaintenanceHussy said...

That's what we're here for...support and love. :) Glad you're not throwing in the towel!

Marie said...

Excellent news! And from what I know of you from reading your blog these past few months, I never doubted that you are a tough broad who knows herself. But I so know what you mean you have that moment...of having someone say something so mean about a decision you had a difficult time making in the first place. Good for you in sticking to your guns and doing what is truly best for your family in the grand scheme of things. Princess is LUCKY to have a mom like you. Seriously. Anyway, I'm so glad you're sticking around!

mg said...

Excellent~! *wink*

mg

MommaK said...

Whew!!! I was worried about you all night! Glad you are going to keep blogging. You can't let whoever that idiot was get the best of you. You are way too good for that!! *hugs*

Janet said...

jeez, how'd I miss this yesterday? I'm glad you're staying too :-)

pia savage said...

Wow! Miss a day, and miss an entire soap opera. Don't mean it like that; know how hurtful it was too you and don't blame you at all.

I almost never write about my daily life now, not because it is as boring as I tell people it is, but because I write such personal stuff that I have to make some boundaries.

I have always admired the pictures you put in, and how naturally you talk about your family. Please keep that going; and since you're in HR, find out the blogging policy first thing ;-)

And break a leg on Monday!

Am sick and tired of judgemental people who tell me how to think and act--just an editorial

www.courtingdestiny.com

Kathleen said...

I had great faith that you were going to stay when I saw everybody telling you how much they'd miss you. I'm glad I'm right. It doesn't happen often. ;-) Have a great weekend! And don't forget to take pictures of any new shoes!

Danielle said...

THATS WHAT IM TALKEN ABOUT!!! YEA SHE'S BACK!!! THIS IS YOUR HOUSE!!! SAY WHAT YOU WANT!!! WE LOVE YOU GURL!

annie said...

I know what you mean!
You just want to reach through the computer and go all "Jersey" on their ass!
It's frustrating.
But you got all these people who love you, so, I guess that makes up for it?

LisaBinDaCity said...

I just caught up on what's been going on with your blog. I'm happy you decided to stay! I truly enjoy hearing about your life and your witty posts, (and rants :-))
It completely sucks being criticized and judged by strangers who get brave while hiding behind a computer screen. I hate those horrible anonymous comments as do we all. But I decided I'm not going to let some creep deprive me of an outlet I enjoy. Delete, delete, delete. Your choices are your own and you do not have to justify them to the world.

Big Hug!

Misfit Hausfrau said...

Yay! So glad you are staying. In addition to Bon Jovi concerts, we can hear crazy HR stories. Oh, wait, that would be bad, because you would get caught and probably fired. Damn! Best of luck on Monday!

Guppyman said...

You know something is wrong when I have a part in keeping a Liberal blogging!!! What is this world coming to anyway....?

Glad you are gonna stick it out.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Great to know you're still with us, Jersey. It wouldn't be the same without you.

Elle said...

Glad you are sticking around kid. Us Jersey girls gotta stick together babe!
About the other thing. It's a tough decision. I worked, I quit, I'm going to work again. Sometimes it was good, sometimes horrible (bith situations). I wish it were easy. But, we do what we have to so our kids will have everything we could possibly give them, right? You are a great mom, and your daughter will be a great person because you give her all you can. Have faith.

Natsthename said...

I'm just gonna second the "YAY!" comment! YAY!

deputyswife said...

Thata girl! That is the true Jersey spirit we have all come to love!

Nigel Patel said...

Rock on Jersey!

maxandzoesmom said...

so glad you decided to stay!

you rock!

Angela said...

JerseyGirl, I've stumbled upon your site many times in blogland and have come to truly enjoy your writing. Over the last couple of weeks you've become a regular on my list of blogreads and it saddens me to see that you've had such a negative experience with commenters. Another of my favorite reads recently had a similar bad experience with her commenters and I hope that you both decide that there are enough of us out here who love you enough to outweigh the trolls!

Chris said...

You're Welcome

Brookelina said...

Crap. I get a job and can't keep up with my regular blog reading and I miss everything! What the hell happened?!!

Whatever...I'm just glad you didn't let some twat stop you from blogging.

Better Safe Than Sorry said...

good for you and go and enjoy your new job!!!!!i can't wait to hear about it and your new wardrobe too

J&J'sMom said...

Damn woman! Thank God I read your last post AFTER this one! I'm so glad you decided not to disappear. Don't let the losers get to you...apparantly she made a bad decision once and decided to take it out on you cause that's what stupid people do. The world is full of 'em. It's not about you...there's too much good in you to share and you're allowed to ask for sympathy now and then. I know what it's like going back to work...I've never been so tired in my life. My reasons are a bit different than yours, but it affects my family just the same. I'm here if you ever need a supportive ear. Don't let the assholes get you down...WE LOVE YOU!! ;) Peace,Chicka..hang in there.

Peanutt said...

I just went back to see the final (I think) total was on people who commented on your leaving blogland and wow, that was ab. fab! The outpouring of love! All I can say is wow, wow, wow..and sorry that my comment came up twice...dunno what the fuck??? LOL.
Have a great weekend!!! Oh, Bon Jovi in concert in Michigan in November (from what my friend told me!) So watch out for da man!!!!

Mamacita said...

I missed the drama but I'm really glad you're staying.

If she comes back tell her to go fuck a duck.

(Apologies beaucoup for saying 'fuck.)

Arethusa said...

Yaaaaaaay!!!! Remember how circumspect I was on your previous post? Total lie. If you actually did quit I was going to fly down there with jello shots, get you drunk, and have you post that you changed your mind.

Good thing I don't have to do that, eh?

the frog princess said...

Yay! You made my weekend. Now I'm going to go to the beach and get hardcore burnt. :) If I'm actually making the trek to the beach (I detest the place) then I'm taking sun back with me. See you Monday!

Ally said...

I am coming late to this, but I am so pleased that you decided not to quit.

I've had a couple of comments recently when I spilled my heart about depression that made me feel really vulnerable. It's a wierd feeling - after reading a couple of paragraphs of thoughts, people somehow feel they know you well enough to give you really personal advice and criticism without a second thought.

Finn said...

That's our Jersey Girl!

Holly said...

I missed all the drama too, only getting caught up today. I've sent a slew of supportive comments, as a fellow working mom, who's kids are thriving in daycare.

I am so glad you are staying, and so glad you got such overwhelming support.

Some SAHM's can be so judgemental. I think they either had a bad experience at some point with some childcare solution, or know somebody who did. Which is sad, because there are ton's are great childcare alternatives our there, which are great for our kids. Or, they think they know everything, and clearly don't.

Whatever the case is, don't second guess your decision. You obviously put a lot of thought into it, and I am positive it will all work out great!

Holly said...

P.S. I meant to say, however, that some SAHM's are NOT judgemental, including many Mommy bloggers. It is just that mean-spirited minority I was referring to.