We replanned vacations yet again. Budapest flights went up so I thought, hmmm, we have been wanting to go back to Ireland and take TJK and do the north and northwest of the country as well as Northern Ireland. So we looked into flights and they were cheap going to Dublin. So, off to Ireland we go! We will fly into Dublin, then head north through the area my family is from to then spend a few days in Belfast (SO psyched for this), then head north to the Giant's Causeway and drive all the way across to Galway, with many stops along the way. I am disappointed that we won't see Budapest this year (or next, since our big Hawaii trip is next year), but I really can't complain.
And, on a further travel note, I just got approval to take a business trip that I have dying to go on...so off I go to New Orleans in a few months! I am SO excited about it because it adds yet another trip this year. Hubby is going to come with me and we are leaving TJK with my parents, so it'll be nice for just the two of us to get away. We have been taking her on most of our trips nowadays so being on our own will be a nice change, especially in one of our favorite cities.
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On Sunday, I went out for drinks with a friend of mine who is fairly politically active. She invited me and a few other ladies out to celebrate the failure of Trumpcare...our toast was "Fuck Trump!" It was so great to spend a few hours with like-minded, smart, funny, mouthy broads talking intelligently about what's going on in the world and what we can do about it. So often with my friends, we vent and complain about the world but never come up with solutions. With this group, we had great conversation interspersed with great ideas for how we can change the world. It felt pretty good.
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Work sucks the big one lately. I hate my role sometimes because I always have to be the bad guy. I am admired at work for being tough and always having the right things to say, but that means that the responsibility for saying the tough things often falls on me. And that gets tiresome. I love my co-workers and my employees (most of them, anyway), but their blind spots and weak points get to me sometimes. This is one of those times. I know it will pass; it always does. But when I'm in the midst of it, it feels like I am buried in mud to my throat.
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I love my outfit today. I have on a deep blue sweater with big bell sleeves and ties around the wrists (interesting sleeves are hot this season and I am all about it), kick flare jeans that have differently-dyed sides (meaning the jeans are a light blue and the sides are a deeper blue - also very hot this season), cute blue pointy flats, and a great, sparkly necklace one of my employees bought me for Christmas last year. I always feel better when I look cute.
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I cannot believe it is only Thursday - this has been the longest week ever. Tuesday felt like Thursday, which means that every other day has felt like it should be the weekend already. And we already have one more day to go! I planned a work friends happy hour tomorrow night, so at least I have that to look forward to.
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And finally, pride is overwhelming me when it comes to my kiddo! She tried out for and made the school play, which is next week. Tonight is the open house for the kids who will be coming into middle school next year, and the drama teacher picked a scene from the play to enact for the open house tonight - and TJK's part was selected! I can't wait to see her. I say it all the time, but I don't know how I got so lucky to have a kid who is so talented, so smart (straight A's in all honors classes), so kind, and so beautiful. And, so happy. She is the happiest kid alive, about 95% of the time. I am so incredibly lucky to have her as my kid. Not to mention that she is 13 and in middle school, and kids are already fighting and drinking and making out and all that stuff....and as of now, she still have her head on really straight. I am so proud of her :)
Showing posts with label smart. Show all posts
Showing posts with label smart. Show all posts
Thursday, March 30, 2017
Tuesday, January 31, 2017
Karma Bites a Mean Mom Gently on the Ass
So let's talk about this here since it's impolite and mean to talk badly about other people's children. So while I have talked about this with my husband and will share it with one of my besties, I don't want to come off like I am reveling in the failure of a child. But I am, and I don't really and truly care all that much.
Years ago, I was really good friends with a woman I will call M. She constantly told me that I was like her sister, that no one understood her the way I did, and that I was the only one she could truly confide in. How nice to have a friend like this! Our families spent a lot of time together, going to the movies, dinners, Broadway plays, and hanging out at each other's houses. Our daughters were in the same grade and in the same class, so our families were a perfect fit.
We had a mutual friend, L, whose daughter was also in the same class as our daughters. I never had a problem with L, although I didn't love her parenting and thought her daughter was a bit of a douche. But we were friendly, and M and L were friendly as well.
Then one day at school, L's daughter hit TJK in the head with a rock at aftercare. I am a pretty calm person in these situations, actually - I handled it well, knowing that kids are kids and while I wanted L to handle this with her child, I didn't want aftercare to kick her out or anything. A conversation was needed between the moms. So I called L and we talked it out. Our first discussion did not go so well, and L claimed that there was no way her daughter would do something like this and that TJK must have provoked her in some way. Oh no you didn't just say that my kid was "asking for it" or that she "provoked" violence in some way. That conversation didn't end well, except for L saying that her daughter would be grounded and not allowed at the Halloween dance that night or to go trick-or-treating the following day. That sounded fair to me - there needed to be punishment for the crime.
So, off we go to the Halloween dance and there is L's kid, dancing away as if she had not just assaulted a child with a rock earlier that day. I was pretty upset about it, because it meant to me that L didn't take this seriously. M and I huddled outside to talk it through, and she gave me advice as I confided in her about how I felt.
Trying to make a long story a little shorter, I got a call a couple of weeks later stating that my child had a bullying complaint lodged against her by L. I was furious, despite the school finding that TJK was, of course, not at fault. Now, when this happened, I could have lodged a complaint with the school or with aftercare about L's child, but I did not. I thought we could work it out amongst ourselves and not do any long term damage to the kids. Weeks went by, and then I was talking to my friend S about it. She was like, "I probably shouldn't tell you this, but L told me that M told her that she should lodge the complaint against TJK to preempt anything I might do. That way, if I said that L's kid hit mine with a rock, there would be a complaint of bullying against her already. THIS WAS MY FRIEND, the one who said I was like a sister to her, telling another person to back stab me,
This is why I hate M. I hate L as well, but it doesn't really matter to my life. My kid is in all honors classes and her kid is dumber than the rock she hit TJK with, so they don't even see each other any more. However, M's kid is in every single class with TJK. They are both in all honors, so they see each other all day, every day. TJK isn't fond to M's daughter because, honestly, she is exactly like M. So they aren't friends, but they have the same circle of friends.
Last night, TJK had a friend over and they were talking. I'm so lucky that not only does my kid talk to me, but her friends do, too. Her friend said, Oooh, "TJG, you are going to want to hear this. M's daughter is on probation for Global Studies and if she doesn't pick up her grade next semester, she is going to be kicked out of Honors Global Studies and put into a regular class!" I couldn't help but do a little jig, and I felt a little bad for it because I don't want to be mean to a child...but...I know that with how competitive and over-achiever-like M is, it is tearing her up that her kid is not succeeding in honors classes (my kid got a 96% in that class, bitches). And since M was such an awful person to me and my kid, I can't help but revel just a little bit in her getting a tiny comeuppance. Karma is a bitch.
Years ago, I was really good friends with a woman I will call M. She constantly told me that I was like her sister, that no one understood her the way I did, and that I was the only one she could truly confide in. How nice to have a friend like this! Our families spent a lot of time together, going to the movies, dinners, Broadway plays, and hanging out at each other's houses. Our daughters were in the same grade and in the same class, so our families were a perfect fit.
We had a mutual friend, L, whose daughter was also in the same class as our daughters. I never had a problem with L, although I didn't love her parenting and thought her daughter was a bit of a douche. But we were friendly, and M and L were friendly as well.
Then one day at school, L's daughter hit TJK in the head with a rock at aftercare. I am a pretty calm person in these situations, actually - I handled it well, knowing that kids are kids and while I wanted L to handle this with her child, I didn't want aftercare to kick her out or anything. A conversation was needed between the moms. So I called L and we talked it out. Our first discussion did not go so well, and L claimed that there was no way her daughter would do something like this and that TJK must have provoked her in some way. Oh no you didn't just say that my kid was "asking for it" or that she "provoked" violence in some way. That conversation didn't end well, except for L saying that her daughter would be grounded and not allowed at the Halloween dance that night or to go trick-or-treating the following day. That sounded fair to me - there needed to be punishment for the crime.
So, off we go to the Halloween dance and there is L's kid, dancing away as if she had not just assaulted a child with a rock earlier that day. I was pretty upset about it, because it meant to me that L didn't take this seriously. M and I huddled outside to talk it through, and she gave me advice as I confided in her about how I felt.
Trying to make a long story a little shorter, I got a call a couple of weeks later stating that my child had a bullying complaint lodged against her by L. I was furious, despite the school finding that TJK was, of course, not at fault. Now, when this happened, I could have lodged a complaint with the school or with aftercare about L's child, but I did not. I thought we could work it out amongst ourselves and not do any long term damage to the kids. Weeks went by, and then I was talking to my friend S about it. She was like, "I probably shouldn't tell you this, but L told me that M told her that she should lodge the complaint against TJK to preempt anything I might do. That way, if I said that L's kid hit mine with a rock, there would be a complaint of bullying against her already. THIS WAS MY FRIEND, the one who said I was like a sister to her, telling another person to back stab me,
This is why I hate M. I hate L as well, but it doesn't really matter to my life. My kid is in all honors classes and her kid is dumber than the rock she hit TJK with, so they don't even see each other any more. However, M's kid is in every single class with TJK. They are both in all honors, so they see each other all day, every day. TJK isn't fond to M's daughter because, honestly, she is exactly like M. So they aren't friends, but they have the same circle of friends.
Last night, TJK had a friend over and they were talking. I'm so lucky that not only does my kid talk to me, but her friends do, too. Her friend said, Oooh, "TJG, you are going to want to hear this. M's daughter is on probation for Global Studies and if she doesn't pick up her grade next semester, she is going to be kicked out of Honors Global Studies and put into a regular class!" I couldn't help but do a little jig, and I felt a little bad for it because I don't want to be mean to a child...but...I know that with how competitive and over-achiever-like M is, it is tearing her up that her kid is not succeeding in honors classes (my kid got a 96% in that class, bitches). And since M was such an awful person to me and my kid, I can't help but revel just a little bit in her getting a tiny comeuppance. Karma is a bitch.
Tuesday, October 27, 2015
A PostScript to Yesterday's Post
It's become even clearer to me that my kid takes after me.
Without going into all the details, she sucks at homework. She is smart as a whip and tests way above her grade level (she tests at the high school level in math and english) but can't seem to get her homework or projects done. THIS IS ME, 100%.
I was forever getting the comment "does not work up to her potential" on my report cards, because while they knew I was smart, school was not my priority. My friends were. Boys were. Music and good times were. It's the same with TJK. So smart but doesn't care all that much about the work. She wants good grades, but I think that's more to please us than herself. Grammar School TJK is Grammar School TJG.
I don't get the comparisons with my sister, who was very focused on her grades, always did her assignments, always studied, always did well. And I think that's what annoys me. My parents see my kid as smart so she's like my sister. Can they not see that it might be offensive to me that they attribute my kid's smarts to her aunt instead of her mom?
Next time this comes up, I'm addressing it. Because obviously, it's bothering me more than it should.
Without going into all the details, she sucks at homework. She is smart as a whip and tests way above her grade level (she tests at the high school level in math and english) but can't seem to get her homework or projects done. THIS IS ME, 100%.
I was forever getting the comment "does not work up to her potential" on my report cards, because while they knew I was smart, school was not my priority. My friends were. Boys were. Music and good times were. It's the same with TJK. So smart but doesn't care all that much about the work. She wants good grades, but I think that's more to please us than herself. Grammar School TJK is Grammar School TJG.
I don't get the comparisons with my sister, who was very focused on her grades, always did her assignments, always studied, always did well. And I think that's what annoys me. My parents see my kid as smart so she's like my sister. Can they not see that it might be offensive to me that they attribute my kid's smarts to her aunt instead of her mom?
Next time this comes up, I'm addressing it. Because obviously, it's bothering me more than it should.
Monday, October 26, 2015
Pretty Smart
I'm pretty much using this as a place to vent about things that annoy me, so here's the next one on my list.
My kid is really awesome. Everyone says so, and not just the people who *have* to say so. She happens to be really, really smart and impresses us regularly with her intelligence.
I happen to be pretty smart as well. I didn't get good grades in high school because A) I was lazy about school work and B) boys. But I was always smart, and when I went to college, I got great grades. I've proven my intelligence through my career and through the fact that I can have an intelligent conversation about just about anything.
Anyway, every time my daughter shows her smarts (getting good grades, making a logical point, fashioning an advanced argument for her position on something), my parents say "Oh, you take after Aunt K!" as if none of her intelligence could have possibly come from me.
This all goes pretty deep. Growing up, K was the smart one and I was the pretty one...even though I was smart too, and K was pretty, too. It did some damage to my sister and me - although I think more to her than to me - and my parents are aware that they screwed up by categorizing us this way. So now, to hear my parents comment on my daughter's intelligence and still make it a compliment on my sister's intelligence...it's really annoying.
I wonder if, as my niece grows up and is beautiful (which, of course she will!), will they say "Oh, she takes after her Aunt TJG!"???
My kid is really awesome. Everyone says so, and not just the people who *have* to say so. She happens to be really, really smart and impresses us regularly with her intelligence.
I happen to be pretty smart as well. I didn't get good grades in high school because A) I was lazy about school work and B) boys. But I was always smart, and when I went to college, I got great grades. I've proven my intelligence through my career and through the fact that I can have an intelligent conversation about just about anything.
Anyway, every time my daughter shows her smarts (getting good grades, making a logical point, fashioning an advanced argument for her position on something), my parents say "Oh, you take after Aunt K!" as if none of her intelligence could have possibly come from me.
This all goes pretty deep. Growing up, K was the smart one and I was the pretty one...even though I was smart too, and K was pretty, too. It did some damage to my sister and me - although I think more to her than to me - and my parents are aware that they screwed up by categorizing us this way. So now, to hear my parents comment on my daughter's intelligence and still make it a compliment on my sister's intelligence...it's really annoying.
I wonder if, as my niece grows up and is beautiful (which, of course she will!), will they say "Oh, she takes after her Aunt TJG!"???
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