My cousin is divorced from his wife, with whom I used to be pretty close. We've traveled all over Europe together and also to the Dominican Republic, and I felt like we had a kinship. I felt like she was a long lost sister of mine, really.
I don't know what went wrong in their marriage, but when their relationship soured, so did mine and hers. I don't dislike her; I have no ill feelings towards her at all, really. Things didn't work out for them for whatever reason and that's too bad, but it happens.
The thing about me is that when something bad happens to someone I love, I close ranks. My cousin was very surprised and hurt by her instigation of the divorce, so I am all in for him. Ride or die. I only know his side of the story, and I'm well aware that she probably has a good reason for her actions. But she never reached out to me to talk or to explain or to get advice, and I didn't reach out to see how she was doing or what she felt or if she needed my shoulder. I guess that's what divorce breeds when it comes to families.
On weekends like this, I feel bad for her. I'm out with her daughter, watching her bond like crazy with my daughter, watching them develop what appears to be a lifelong friendship, and she is missing that. They smile and laugh and sing and run around together and it's just about the most precious thing I've ever seen.
|Cousins/Godsisters under a perfect autumn sky.|
Divorce ends so many things, not just the marriage. It ends friendships, too. And that's really sad for all involved.