Friday, May 20, 2016

NOODZ at Work

So here's a thing that happened at work today.

We had an employee leave the company a couple weeks back. She was overall a pretty bad employee and we weren't sad to see her go. Today, I had my team go and pack up her belongings so we could send them to her.

They gathered everything in boxes and then sorted it out (since some stuff, like half-eaten food or mugs with mold in them, were not things we would send). As they packed, they came across some photos and this is where things got crazy.

These were hardcore nudes.

Like, completely naked in the shower. Like, licking her own nipple for the camera. Like, a super close-up of her vag, spread open with her long fingernails. There were probably a dozen of this photos.

They were actual printed photos - I thought the kids just texted their noodz, but I was wrong! - and she brought them to work. She had them on her desk, under some other photos of her daughter. Walgreen's printed these out for her.

Also in her desk was a letter written to her ex-boyfriend. It was at least 8 pages long, and started with the sentence: "I'm typing this instead of hand-writing it because I am at work and I can pretend to work by typing." (God, am I sorry she longer works here!) In it, she talks about how often he cheated on her, made other women get abortions, got her to fight with other women, and beat her so that she would have to wear long sleeves in the summer to cover the bruises. She talks about how much she still loves him and always will, despite the fact that she isn't good enough for him. She was mailing this letter to him in prison, where she has gone to visit him and seen all the other women there visiting him as well.

I went from giggling at this deluded young girl's attempts at amateur porn to feeling so sad for her. I love women who love and celebrate their bodies and sexuality, and I don't think it's something to shame them for (however, I don't think you should be bringing proof of your self-adoration to work). But after seeing the letter and the photos in conjunction, I just felt sad. She is a damaged person, so lacking in self-esteem that she was begging her horrible ex to come back and trying to tempt him with erotic photos. This is not the kind of thing you expect to have to face at work, and I was glad that she was no longer an employee so I didn't have to address this with her.

So yeah, when you think of your evil HR Director, keep in mind the things she has to deal with. And the images she can't erase from her mind.

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