I love New Jersey. Obviously. I love being close to the beach and the mountains and farmland and authentic ethnic food (from every ethnicity!) and especially to New York City. I love having everything I could ever need practically within walking distance (and most within actual walking distance). I never thought I would ever consider leaving here. It's home, and has been for my whole life.
The older I get, the more I reconsider my whole "Born Jersey, Live Jersey, Die Jersey" motto. Maybe it has come with the extensive travel I have done...but then, I have been seeing the world since I was 21. Maybe it's all the traffic...but then, I've been in one long continuous traffic jam since I learned to drive. Maybe it's all the people and noise...but then, when I'm in quiet places I can't sleep.
The truth is, I think I can handle all of those things individually. It's more that cumulatively, over the past X number of years, it is getting to me. I would love to experience my 7-mile commute to work not taking 45 minutes. It would be great to go to Shop Rite and not have to hit people with my cart and then stand on line for 30 minutes. How awesome would I feel to not have noise and light pollution present at all times?
About a year ago, we went out to Denver. We stayed a few nights in the city and then head to the Rocky Mountains. I was sure I would hate it because I hate nature and all that comes with it...and because my husband convinced me to stay in a cabin. But I didn't hate it, especially the cabin. It was small, but had a really nice kitchen, fireplace, flat screen tv, WiFi, king size Sleep Number bed, jacuzzi, waterfall shower...so all the things my luxury loving side could want. But it was quiet. It was in the woods (but still a quick drive to civilization). There was a babbling brook near it, and that was the only sound we could hear (other than the male elk bellowing to his ladyfriends that he was in the mood for some lovin'). And I really liked it. I liked being slightly disconnected - quiet, calmed, peaceful.
Last month we went to Asheville. We stayed in a quite remote cabin this time - higher luxury with more distance. It was 45 minutes to civilization. This was really hard for me at first. It was so quiet, I had to listen to myself think. When I stood on the deck and looked out, all I saw were trees and distant mountains. My first thought (especially after seeing the spider that had taken up residence with us) was to get the hell out of there. I wanted to head directly to the closest Four Seasons and call it a day. But I tried to let loose. This is something I am actively working on during my travels - stopping my brain from being 10 steps ahead of me and just enjoying and acknowledging the moment I am in. And that's what I did (after our friendly neighborhood spider man had been kicked to the curb). I sat in the moment and listened to the quiet. I looked at the views and I took it all in, and I realized that I enjoyed it quite a bit. Some of my best memories of that trip are of the time we spent in the cabin - cuddled under blankets by the fire watching a movie, standing on the deck looking at those views without saying a word, really just taking it all in.
Due to my husband's job, we aren't going anywhere for at least 10 years. By then, TJK will be in college and we will have some options. I have no idea what we will do or where will go or if we will go at all. But for the first time in my life I am contemplating going somewhere that I can hibernate. Well, at least part of the time. Because you know I am not giving up my dinners out or brewery visits or shopping trips or Sundays at the diner or real pizza and bagels...and there's the Jersey Girl in me, coming out once again.
Showing posts with label Asheville. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Asheville. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 02, 2015
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
A BearWolf Attacked Us in Asheville
I am petrified of nature. Like, I hate and am afraid of 98% of everything the outdoors has to offer. I don't like bugs or wild animals or dirt or walking on dirt with bugs flying at me and the threat of wild animals attacking at every turn. It's just not my thing. I am a city girl through and through. But about a year ago, my husband and I went to Denver and took a side trip to Rocky Mountain National Park. We stayed just outside the park in a lovely little town called Estes Park, in a lovely little cabin surrounded by woods and a creek and real live elk. Of course, the cabin was luxe and had all the amenities I could ever want, but I did enjoy that cabin in the woods. I even enjoyed watching the elk as it was mating season and the dynamics were fascinating. The male was in charge, sure, and he would bellow to keep his harem in line. But then you'd see one female roll her eyes at him and another female would be like, hell yeah, I'm eye rolling too, this guy is just too much. And they would stand up and walk away. He'd yell and yell but they'd just keep walking and there was nothing he could do. I mean, he still had like 50 more ladies in his crew so he wasn't suffering, but it was kind of empowering to see the ladies say, I've had enough of your yelling and I'm out.
When it was time to pick a place to stay in Asheville, we looked in the city itself at some of the more upscale hotels, and we also looked in the mountains for a pretty, remote place to stay. I agreed to stay in the mountains (in a 3 bedroom cabin with a wall of windows overlooking the view, 2 hot tubs, 3 full bathrooms, a flat screen tv over the fireplace, and a game room with a pool table...so trust me, we were not roughing it) because I had a good experience in the Rockies so I was willing to try it again.
To jump to the end of the story - I loved the cabin, I loved the woods, I loved the whole experience of coming back there at night and sitting in front of the fireplace under blankets with my family and watching a movie, and waking up in the morning to a house filled with natural light and a view of utter gorgeousness. It was really delightful. But back to the beginning of the story...
We got to the cabin at about 11pm, and it was dark as hell up there. This cabin was wayyyy up on the mountain, and only part of the road was paved. So for about 25 minutes of the 40 minute drive up, we were on a one lane, unpaved, edge-of-cliff road. In the pitch black dark. This was the route on the GPS, to show you how windy and remote this road was:
We get to the cabin and need a flashlight to get from the car to the front door. It is that dark. I can't see if a bear or deer or mountain lion is about to eat me, and I am petrified. The front door has a light on, which is great, except that since it is the only light for miles, it has attracted every moth in Western North Carolina (WNC, they call it. The people call it that, not the moths. I was too afraid of the moths to ask them what they call it.). We fight the moths off and get into the cabin. Whew, it's really nice and the internet didn't lie when it said this was a great place to stay. We check out all the rooms, and I check every pocket of space for squatters who could be holed up there for the winter and find none, so I'm happy. Yep, I'm that brand of crazy.
I go into the bedroom to change into my jammies and I hear Hubby and TJK's voices raise a bit. I listen carefully through the wall and hear them talking about some kind of bug in the kitchen. I try not to freak out - I mean, we have bugs in NJ too and you can just throw your shoe at them and it's all good. Or you can be like TJK and usher them gently out the window or door so they can go haunt someone else's life. Anyway, I start to come out of the bedroom and TJK comes running in and tells me not to come out.
"You don't want to see what's out there, Mommy. You won't like it."
"What is it? What kind of bug?"
"It's a spider but not the normal kind, it's like the kind you see in books."
"How big is it? Like scary big?"
She nods. "Yeah, its like this big," and she puts her forefingers and thumbs together to make the biggest circle I've ever seen.
"You're exaggerating."
"No, I'm not. I came in here to stop you from seeing it because I know you will freak out, but if you don't believe me, go look for yourself."
"No thank you, I have chosen to believe you and will stay in this room. Is Daddy killing it?"
"Daddy says it's too big to smoosh and he doesn't know what to do with it. If he tries to hit it and misses it might jump on him and bite him and he'll die of poisoning. So he is going to trap it under something and then figure it out. I need to go help him, bye," and with that she left me alone to imagine myself covered in bugs and scratching myself like crazy,
So eventually, they got the thing under a glass, onto a plate, and flung him off the deck into the woods. Of course, I couldn't sleep all night because I was sure he was angry and had made his way back into the house to eat my face while I was sleeping. Thankfully this did not happen and I still have my face.
The next morning, the cabin was filled with light and the view was stunning. We could see the mountains in the distance, the changing leaves on the trees, and no one else around for miles. As long as I didn't remind myself that if I was murdered up there, no one would hear me scream or find my body, I was truly in heaven. TJK and I went out on the deck and just stood in awe of the beauty of the scenery, and then talked about whether we could live in a place like this if hand-sized spiders didn't exist.
All of a sudden, out of the corner of my eye I see a huge beast making its way towards us. It wasn't lumbering, as you would have expected of a bear that was going to eat you, but it was more barreling towards us like a big fuzzy freight train with an appetite for human flesh. We both screamed bloody murder and I grabbed her and ran into the house, trying to shut the door before the animal could make a solid breakfast out of us. Then I see Hubby's face - rolling his eyes and laughing at us from inside the glass doors, and I can't imagine why he thinks it is funny that we just barely escaped being murdered.
TJK and I turn back to see the beast we have just escaped, only to find that it was not a bear at all, but a big, fluffy dog that has now rolled over on her back so we can rub her belly. My heart is still racing and I start laughing, and TJK yells at the mutt, "I THOUGHT YOU WERE A WOLF! THAT WAS MEAN!"
We pet the dog for some time and fell in love with her. We found out from her tags that her name was, in fact, Bear. So I was kind of right that a Bear tried to eat us except that instead of "eating us" she "forced us to pet her by being cute." Same, same. And also, she has one brown eye and one light blue eye, which means she was really part wolf or at least part Siberian Husky so TJK says, same, same.
We didn't see any wildlife after that - not a squirrel, nor a chipmunk, nor bear nor wolf nor tarantula. The only wildlife we saw were birds, and me drinking a lot of beer and dancing a bit. Which is the only kind of wildlife I really like: myself.
All in all, I did love the cabin and I loved Bear and I loved the mountain and I did not love the spider but I got over it mostly. And I can't wait to go back.
When it was time to pick a place to stay in Asheville, we looked in the city itself at some of the more upscale hotels, and we also looked in the mountains for a pretty, remote place to stay. I agreed to stay in the mountains (in a 3 bedroom cabin with a wall of windows overlooking the view, 2 hot tubs, 3 full bathrooms, a flat screen tv over the fireplace, and a game room with a pool table...so trust me, we were not roughing it) because I had a good experience in the Rockies so I was willing to try it again.
To jump to the end of the story - I loved the cabin, I loved the woods, I loved the whole experience of coming back there at night and sitting in front of the fireplace under blankets with my family and watching a movie, and waking up in the morning to a house filled with natural light and a view of utter gorgeousness. It was really delightful. But back to the beginning of the story...
We got to the cabin at about 11pm, and it was dark as hell up there. This cabin was wayyyy up on the mountain, and only part of the road was paved. So for about 25 minutes of the 40 minute drive up, we were on a one lane, unpaved, edge-of-cliff road. In the pitch black dark. This was the route on the GPS, to show you how windy and remote this road was:
 |
| Who creates roads that curves and twist and jackknife like this? Mountain people, that's who, to torture city folk. |
I go into the bedroom to change into my jammies and I hear Hubby and TJK's voices raise a bit. I listen carefully through the wall and hear them talking about some kind of bug in the kitchen. I try not to freak out - I mean, we have bugs in NJ too and you can just throw your shoe at them and it's all good. Or you can be like TJK and usher them gently out the window or door so they can go haunt someone else's life. Anyway, I start to come out of the bedroom and TJK comes running in and tells me not to come out.
"You don't want to see what's out there, Mommy. You won't like it."
"What is it? What kind of bug?"
"It's a spider but not the normal kind, it's like the kind you see in books."
"How big is it? Like scary big?"
She nods. "Yeah, its like this big," and she puts her forefingers and thumbs together to make the biggest circle I've ever seen.
"You're exaggerating."
"No, I'm not. I came in here to stop you from seeing it because I know you will freak out, but if you don't believe me, go look for yourself."
"No thank you, I have chosen to believe you and will stay in this room. Is Daddy killing it?"
"Daddy says it's too big to smoosh and he doesn't know what to do with it. If he tries to hit it and misses it might jump on him and bite him and he'll die of poisoning. So he is going to trap it under something and then figure it out. I need to go help him, bye," and with that she left me alone to imagine myself covered in bugs and scratching myself like crazy,
So eventually, they got the thing under a glass, onto a plate, and flung him off the deck into the woods. Of course, I couldn't sleep all night because I was sure he was angry and had made his way back into the house to eat my face while I was sleeping. Thankfully this did not happen and I still have my face.
The next morning, the cabin was filled with light and the view was stunning. We could see the mountains in the distance, the changing leaves on the trees, and no one else around for miles. As long as I didn't remind myself that if I was murdered up there, no one would hear me scream or find my body, I was truly in heaven. TJK and I went out on the deck and just stood in awe of the beauty of the scenery, and then talked about whether we could live in a place like this if hand-sized spiders didn't exist.
All of a sudden, out of the corner of my eye I see a huge beast making its way towards us. It wasn't lumbering, as you would have expected of a bear that was going to eat you, but it was more barreling towards us like a big fuzzy freight train with an appetite for human flesh. We both screamed bloody murder and I grabbed her and ran into the house, trying to shut the door before the animal could make a solid breakfast out of us. Then I see Hubby's face - rolling his eyes and laughing at us from inside the glass doors, and I can't imagine why he thinks it is funny that we just barely escaped being murdered.
TJK and I turn back to see the beast we have just escaped, only to find that it was not a bear at all, but a big, fluffy dog that has now rolled over on her back so we can rub her belly. My heart is still racing and I start laughing, and TJK yells at the mutt, "I THOUGHT YOU WERE A WOLF! THAT WAS MEAN!"
 |
| The picture is facing this way because she was legit just laying on her back the whole time begging to be massaged. She looks like neither bear nor wolf, in reality. |
We didn't see any wildlife after that - not a squirrel, nor a chipmunk, nor bear nor wolf nor tarantula. The only wildlife we saw were birds, and me drinking a lot of beer and dancing a bit. Which is the only kind of wildlife I really like: myself.
All in all, I did love the cabin and I loved Bear and I loved the mountain and I did not love the spider but I got over it mostly. And I can't wait to go back.
Monday, November 09, 2015
#Feminist
So I was in Ashville over the past few days, enjoying a little break from work and the daily grind. We did some hiking, some relaxing, some southern-food eating, and some craft beer drinking. We didn't have nearly enough time to do everything we wanted to do, so we are already planning Trip Number Two to the AVL.
We were in one of the craft breweries down there (and wow, are there a lot of craft breweries down there) when I saw a poster hanging on the ladies room wall:
I posted it on Twitter with an appreciative comment, because really, how can anyone think taking advantage of someone who is intoxicated isn't sleazy besides legit rapists? And I hashtagged it with #feminist because consent is a feminist topic, y'all (I say y'all now, because I was just in the south. I will be back to my usual usage of the Jersey term "youse" fairly soon, I'm sure) and I think it's good for feminists to be able to see that stuff like this is being posted in bar bathrooms. It's some progress and it felt good to share it.
Oh, but I forgot what a misogynistic asshole Twitter can be. I forgot that there are men who troll the #feminist hashtag just to poke and annoy. I forgot that these men have a sad hobby of trying to degrade people they don't even know, simply because a hashtag makes them feel sad about themselves because women have voices too. But I did remember that I don't need to allow them to poke me to get their jollies.
Some mom's-basement-dweller decided that because I posted the above picture with the comment: "Loving Asheville and its anti-rape, pro-consent efforts in bars," he needed to come for me. His first line of attack was to ask if both people were drunk, were both raped? Then, when I wouldn't bite, he told me I was straw-manning him (I think he needs a dictionary) and called me "bad girl." Again, I would not bite and he came back with how I had no argument and that Twitter is not my personal echo chamber (sorry but yes, Twitter is everyone's own personal echo chamber). And then he called me darling, which ya know, I just love from someone I don't even know and who is coming at me.
In the old days (circa probably 2010, 2011, 2012) I would have fought with this person on the internet until he cried real tears because I could not let anyone think I was weak or that they were right. Because really, this poster says very clearly that taking advantage of someone who is intoxicated is sleazy. If I'm drunk and you're drunk and we have sex, neither took advantage so that's not the issue here. Let's focus on the post at hand. If you are going to troll, do it accurately and not like some amateur.
My point is that now, I was able to just say, "Go away, troll" and let it be. I didn't feel the need to get sucked into an online battle of words with a semi-armed person whose opinion means nothing to me. I am sure enough in my convictions and intent that I don't need to defend myself to this stranger.
I think that's maturity, no? Even if it was done while sampling ALL THE BEER the Asheville had to offer?
We were in one of the craft breweries down there (and wow, are there a lot of craft breweries down there) when I saw a poster hanging on the ladies room wall:
I posted it on Twitter with an appreciative comment, because really, how can anyone think taking advantage of someone who is intoxicated isn't sleazy besides legit rapists? And I hashtagged it with #feminist because consent is a feminist topic, y'all (I say y'all now, because I was just in the south. I will be back to my usual usage of the Jersey term "youse" fairly soon, I'm sure) and I think it's good for feminists to be able to see that stuff like this is being posted in bar bathrooms. It's some progress and it felt good to share it.
Oh, but I forgot what a misogynistic asshole Twitter can be. I forgot that there are men who troll the #feminist hashtag just to poke and annoy. I forgot that these men have a sad hobby of trying to degrade people they don't even know, simply because a hashtag makes them feel sad about themselves because women have voices too. But I did remember that I don't need to allow them to poke me to get their jollies.
Some mom's-basement-dweller decided that because I posted the above picture with the comment: "Loving Asheville and its anti-rape, pro-consent efforts in bars," he needed to come for me. His first line of attack was to ask if both people were drunk, were both raped? Then, when I wouldn't bite, he told me I was straw-manning him (I think he needs a dictionary) and called me "bad girl." Again, I would not bite and he came back with how I had no argument and that Twitter is not my personal echo chamber (sorry but yes, Twitter is everyone's own personal echo chamber). And then he called me darling, which ya know, I just love from someone I don't even know and who is coming at me.
In the old days (circa probably 2010, 2011, 2012) I would have fought with this person on the internet until he cried real tears because I could not let anyone think I was weak or that they were right. Because really, this poster says very clearly that taking advantage of someone who is intoxicated is sleazy. If I'm drunk and you're drunk and we have sex, neither took advantage so that's not the issue here. Let's focus on the post at hand. If you are going to troll, do it accurately and not like some amateur.
My point is that now, I was able to just say, "Go away, troll" and let it be. I didn't feel the need to get sucked into an online battle of words with a semi-armed person whose opinion means nothing to me. I am sure enough in my convictions and intent that I don't need to defend myself to this stranger.
I think that's maturity, no? Even if it was done while sampling ALL THE BEER the Asheville had to offer?
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
Randomness
Well, the Devils beat the Rangers on Sunday, which is always amazing. Then the Giants lost to the Eagles last night, which is always sucky. And of course, the Yankees season is over and has been for some time. So now I'm left wondering if I root for the Mets because they are my husband's team, or if I root for the Cubs because A) who isn't rooting for the Cubbies? and B) they are my next husband's team (Eddie Vedder, of course).
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I went to the NY Botanical Gardens a few weeks ago with my girlfriends and bought a beautiful Frida Kahlo-inspired necklace. I'm wearing it today for the first time and getting so many compliments on it. Glad I splurged on something I loved.
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Only two weeks till we hit the road for Asheville! I can't wait. I'm all in for the craft beer and mountains and huge cabin house (complete with 3 bedrooms and a fireplace and a game room with a pool table!), but I'm so excited to go to their Friday night drum circle. It just sounds like a weird, local, hippie thing to do and I'm all about it.
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Totally obsessed with The Walking Dead this season. Its only been two episodes but they have been so good. I don't get why there has been so little Daryl, but at least we got Carol back this week and she kicked serious ass. Love this show!
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I went to the NY Botanical Gardens a few weeks ago with my girlfriends and bought a beautiful Frida Kahlo-inspired necklace. I'm wearing it today for the first time and getting so many compliments on it. Glad I splurged on something I loved.
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Only two weeks till we hit the road for Asheville! I can't wait. I'm all in for the craft beer and mountains and huge cabin house (complete with 3 bedrooms and a fireplace and a game room with a pool table!), but I'm so excited to go to their Friday night drum circle. It just sounds like a weird, local, hippie thing to do and I'm all about it.
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Totally obsessed with The Walking Dead this season. Its only been two episodes but they have been so good. I don't get why there has been so little Daryl, but at least we got Carol back this week and she kicked serious ass. Love this show!
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